I recently connected with not one but TWO women who were emotionally shattered because their fiancés had ended their engagements to be with other women.
For one of these women, this heart-wrenching experience took place several months before we connected. Understandably, she was still suffering emotionally from the experience.
To make the matter worse for her, she was still communicating with her ex-fiancé on his terms only. Meaning sometimes he would respond to her messages. Other times he would ignore her completely.
When I connected with her, she was highly distressed because her ex-fiancé had just blocked her on social media and on WhatsApp.
She shared the details of her breakup with me. She also brought me up-to-date on what had been going on with her and her ex-fiancé since he dumped her for the other woman.
The few times he communicated with her after the breakup, he was extremely nasty towards her. I believe he was only communicating with her because he enjoyed inflicting pain on her.
This belief made me feel very sad because it meant this man was going out of his way to hurt the woman he had once asked to accept his proposal for a lifetime commitment of marriage. What made me feel even sadder for her, was that she was accepting this demeaning behaviour from him.
In any relationship, when you do not think highly of yourself or you struggle with insecurities, you are more likely to be willing to accept being treated badly by the other person.
Here are three tips I recommend to any woman who is struggling to move on because she has just been dumped by her fiancé:
Move on With Your Life
I know this time is very painful for you. Being told to move on with your life may not be the advice you want to receive at this time. However, the sooner you move on, the sooner you can begin to enjoy your life again.
It is especially important that you move on if your ex-fiancé wasn’t treating you well while you were together. Please understand that holding onto any feelings of hurt, pain, anger, and rage may or may not be hurting your ex. It is definitely hurting you though. It is also preventing you from experiencing any happiness you could be feeling right now.
Grieving your loss is natural. It is part of the healing process. Here is something to think about. How long do you want to remain stuck in this unhappy place?
You do not have to remain unhappy forever. You have the choice and the power to heal and move on. How do you do this?
Focus on Healing Emotionally
In order to reclaim your power and to begin your emotional healing, it would benefit you greatly to learn and understand how your mind works. The thoughts you think are either having a positive impact or a negative impact in your life.
Master your mind to master your life™.
Whether you’re feeling sad, alone, anger, happy, confident, powerful, it is the result of the thought that you’re currently thinking in the moment. Nothing else.
It can be hard to change the way you think and your beliefs because you are accustomed to thinking a certain way. It is a habit for you.
With the right processes, you can release your negative and limiting beliefs. According to research conducted by a team of psychologists from Queen’s University in Canada, the average person can have more than 6,000 thoughts per day. As much as 70% of the thoughts that you think every day, are working against you.
To begin healing emotionally from any painful experience, you must begin to change the beliefs in your mind that are causing your pain.
“To begin healing emotionally from any painful experience, you must begin to change the beliefs that are causing your pain.”
Allow Yourself to be Supported by People You Trust
Isolation may be more appealing to you during this time, especially because you may be feeling embarrassed and ashamed about what happened to you.
Allow yourself to be supported by those you trust and those who love you. This may help you to heal from this painful experience much faster.
It also shows you that you are not alone and that there are people in your life who do genuinely care about you.
If you need to talk to someone as part of your healing process, then you have someone there who can offer a listening ear to support you. I also think it is important to mention that there is a big difference between talking with the intention of healing and talking with the intention of complaining and remaining stuck in a negative place. This difference can either help you or hold you back in your healing process.
I am not trying to be insensitive by stating this. I really just want to help you to bounce back from this experience as quickly as possible.
Moving on from being dumped is difficult, especially if you loved the person, and you gave your all to the relationship. It is completely possible though.
Focus on moving on, healing emotionally, and allowing yourself to be supported in your healing process. You can get through this ❤️
Lots of love,
Emotional Healing Coach